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The 10 Amazing Ways to Kick Someone’s Butt

The 10 Amazing Ways to Kick Someone's Butt
The 10 Amazing Ways to Kick Someone's Butt
Does it feel good to have my hand up where the sun don’t shine?

The 10 Guaranteed Ways to Kick Someone’s Butt

There are numerous ways to knock someone on their butt; however, to kick their ass is an entirely different story. You will obviously have to put a lot of easy work into making the right kind of moves, too. Perhaps, to perform one of these so-called moves or ultimate end results, you will have to practice. Unfortunately, it sounds like a drag, and it actually is a pain in the ***. No one wants to hurt anyone else, but it may just be worth your effort. In fact, you never know when you will have to use one of these moves to get out of that “drug deal.” Although, you may already have this ability, but there is always room for improvement, right? Regardless of this tangential aside, these are the 10 amazing ways to kick someone’s butt. Just don’t tell them that I was the one who sent you.

The 10 Guaranteed Ways to Kick Someone’s Butt

1. Argue Their Butts Off

Sometimes, you just want to take your frustrations out on someone, and what a way to do it, right? You may not be the best arguer, but you can still give them a run for their money. Afterall, when push comes to shoving it in their butt, you need not know anything about anything. Everything is on you though, and all you have to do is not let down. In fact, you just have to inundate them with enough knowledge to confuse them into submission. Just know that whoever it may be that you’re fighting with, there is always room to leave their booty figuratively spanked. However, if this seems cruel and unusual, then worry not about their stinky, little tuchus. They will still be alive, but this result is honestly up to you, as you can always add insult to injury later on if you wish to please yourself.

The 10 Amazing Ways to Kick Someone’s Butt

2. Kick Their Literal Butt

It seems rather self-explanatory, but there are times where you are just going to have to do things the hard way. “How do you do this?” you ask. Well, it requires some courage, but the buttocks will certainly feel the pain of gaining respect and admiration. You obviously do not have to kick their butt, but it obviously works as a literal statement of fact, certainly. Of course, it may not necessarily kick their ***; however, if you learn to kick with some power, then you may just be in luck. It takes some practice though, and with some patience, you will be getting two kicked butts in one go-around. Without a doubt, if this sounds like a good time to you, then I am glad to verify that it is fantastic. Before long, you will be getting those cheeks to work overtime without a single care in the world.

The 10 Amazing Ways to Kick Someone’s Butt

3. Learn Some Moves

The moves that you learn can be of the dancing variety or the kind that you learn from Kungfu. Of course, this sounds irrelevant, but who is to stop someone from taking you on with vengeance. To make this even better though, it doesn’t matter what you teach yourself. Yeah, but why is this the case? Well, it’s because just about anything can kick someone’s a**, period. Afterall, if you want to get out of that trap house alive, then you will have to convince your captors to let you leave. However, whichever way that you convince them is on you, but you can certainly do it with some time. It will obviously take years of practice, but you will have these moves ready to fashion yourself with. Don’t worry though, because we’re all rooting for you, be it on the dance floor or during a fight in the ring.

The 10 Amazing Ways to Kick Someone’s Butt

4. Spank Them Hard

It may sound like sexual innuendo, but there is no denying that it actually is. You see, when you spank someone, you’re actually kicking their ass; however, this actually depends. Not only does it teach people a lesson in kinkiness and decency, but it also teaches them to respect their elders. Unfortunately, it may also mean that you’re literally spanking them like a child who drank from the toilet. Although, to make this even worse, there may be adult diapers involved in the ordeal. Of course, you are kicking their a**, but and the whole shituation can get real ugly at an extremely fast rate. If you want to avoid this though, then you will have to think fast to avoid them spanking you back. This means that you will have to continually fasten a firm hand to their cheeks regularly to make sure that they’re pinned down.

The 10 Amazing Ways to Kick Someone’s Butt

5. Hate Their Guts

There’s nothing like getting the adrenaline rushing when you are in the process of hating someone’s guts. Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to hate their literal guts, but that seems to work as well. Furthermore, if you hate them with enough passion, then it probably means that you hate their guts even more anyway. Just know that it may even be a good idea to find some stupid reason to hate someone. This obviously works, and your ass-kicking will be the proof of it working without a hitch. Just be aware that hating someone’s guts means that the other person might take advantage of this. They may even decide that you are worth hating in return after you kick their ass with a vengeance. Either way, it always makes a better fight as long as someone is kicking someone else’s ass, right?

The 10 Amazing Ways to Kick Someone’s Butt

6. Fool Them Into Submission

I don’t mean to be cheeky, but there is a time and place for just about everything. It doesn’t matter if you are looking to smack that crack or even smoke the smack between it. As long as you are tricking someone into getting into their place, then you are doing a job well done. Of course, this can come alongside a metaphorical ass-kicking, but causing someone to become submissive to your every whim is enough. Most people are rife with tendencies that deserve this kind of treatment anyway, and you’re likely one of them. To make this even easier though, there are people looking to be demeaned for the sake of it. Thankfully, the fool taking the bait is the synonymous expression to use for kicking someone’s crackerjack. There’s obviously no shame in it, and the pain can come in all forms.

The 10 Amazing Ways to Kick Someone’s Butt

7. Become a Vigilante

If there is a way to keep others from kicking your ass, then becoming a superhuman crime fighter is one of them. Of course, this comes with a lot of training, but you will have the chance to kick a lot of people’s buttocks in return. The rise to the top is often arduous and painstakingly difficult (possibly impossible), but the hardship is often worth it. Before long, you will be giving the world what it deserves, even if it means taking down a few innocents along the way. Although, to make this even better, you will have the means to kick everyone’s butt without any kind of effort. You may even be the person that breaks their code and wears spandex without harsh judgement from others. Even then, if you do not want to be a superhero badass, then you can always go the way of the antihero.

The 10 Amazing Ways to Kick Someone’s Butt

8. Get a Rise Out of Someone

When it comes to breaking people’s backs, there’s not a better way than angering someone to the point of compromise. Unfortunately, there are a multitude of people who will call this manipulation and “perversion.” Well, that’s just too damn bad, because it’s certainly a way to kick someone’s ass without a shadow of a doubt. It’s just a pain in the heinie that the other person may be reading this and taking this wholesome advice based on their situation with you. Of course, what this obviously means is that you have to watch your back even more than usual. With advice like this, anyone can become a superhuman overnight, including the homeless guy that you jumped last night. Although, this also means that you can still have the step-up advantage compared to your unequal peers at large, mostly.

The 10 Amazing Ways to Kick Someone’s Butt

9. Become a Porn Star

Just about everyone thinks that kicking ass isn’t about porn and porn isn’t about kicking ass. Well, I am here to gladly tell you that they are all wrong about this one. In fact, you can rise your way to the top of the porn charts across the world and “kick” so many butts! To make this even better though, the butt will be kicking you in the feet, and the satisfaction is breathtaking. Of course, it may not be with your actual foot, but then again, there are people who are into that sort of thing. Unfortunately, there are downsides, because it also means that others can kick you in-the-butt. You obviously have a choice in the matter, but be sure to not take on too many people at once. This will certainly land you in a compromising position for sure; the footlong will be coming for you.

The 10 Amazing Ways to Kick Someone’s Butt

10. Take Supplements

As we all know: watching your health is vitally important to your overall … health. The concern can come from your diet, or it can even be a sign that you need to fast. In fact, there are even supplements that you can take for your health that will boost you to the next level. Thankfully, there is always a shortcut to just about everything and life — cheating is the way to go. It doesn’t matter if you decide to indulge in steroid abuse or methamphetamine, because you will have the advantage, i.e., size and a bigger foot. There are no shortage of drugs that will give you that necessary gain that can make all of the difference. What does this mean? Well, you cannot become confused. However, if you almost got lost in this and thought that this was about diet and fitness, then you are wrong.

The 10 Amazing Ways to Kick Someone’s Butt

Ending

In spite of this unorthodox advice, there are numerous ways to take your angering frustrations — the best kind of therapy — out on others. To make this even clearer, that kick can come from your hand or something even better. Of course, as we all have come to understand, the bigger the foot, the better. It doesn’t matter if you started the fight or are simply looking to finish it, because a** will be kicked. When it comes to taking someone on from behind and stabbing them in the back, why keep the concern going. Everyone has some kind of butt to kick, and it’s only a matter of time. (This is the kind of circumstance that will keep them down for good.) However, breaking your code is a part of story as well. Now, before it’s too late, go out and kick some of that fine, little a**. Goodluck!

Be sure to try this on for size, but try to not fart on my foot. Thank you.

The Person Who is About to Kick Your Butt
No wonder everyone’s feet stink. I’m going to need a shoe shining after this.

The 10 Amazing Ways to Kick Someone’s Butt

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Godspeed

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