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The 10 Amazing Places to Wash or Clean Yourself

The 10 Places to Clean Yourself
The 10 Places to Clean Yourself
Yes, you will clean the floor, but what of your butt cheeks? Of course, you must spread them, but never use the dishwasher or dryer as alternatives to this “demon” cleansing problem of yours.

The 10 Amazing Places to Clean Yourself

When it comes to washing ourselves, our unscrupulous nature can allow us to think of two things. Of course, this can allow to think of where we bath ourselves on our body … . Unfortunately, the alternative can also force us to believe that we are talking about a location that we may wash ourselves. In fact, are we talking about nature biomes or something alike, or are we talking about something more adventurous? Well, it’s kind of up for you to decide; however, can it not be both? Well, of course it can be both! Although, with this in mind, we can proceed with the topic at hand: These are the 10 amazing places to clean yourself, at least somewhat cleanly. And you may even enjoy it for once!

The world doesn’t revolve around you, so you will have to find a place to clean or wash yourself. Of course, it will not always be that easy, but you will, at least at some point, find a place to delve.

The 10 Amazing Places to Clean Yourself

1. The Canyon (Buttocks)

Of course, we cannot start this article without the mention of the buns (a food item as well) … the canyon, the high knee, or the special cranberry sauce from Thanksgiving dinner. In fact, these *special* bunions can be both a place for you to go when you are washing yourself, and it can also be a/the place(s) for you to wash on your body — it’s distinct. (It’s actually quite unique.) Afterall, if shaving with a bagel is one way to show it, then the bubble bath is a great way to end it with a good and old-fashioned bang. To make this through and through though, you can find yourself looking at yourself in the mirror, gazing lightly at your fine, windy work in the shower/bathroom mirror with admiration.

The 10 Amazing Places to Clean Yourself

2. The Jungle (Pubic Region)

In spite of my subtle cheekiness (and windy canyon), there are benign ways to look at this subject philosophically. Of course, this can come down to sexual euphemisms, or it can mean that a stray pubic hair made it to your front, inviting doorknob. We may even wistfully spread the groomed bush and understand our lives as a passing fart that never dissipates, at least without prudent eradication. However, if we’re being honest with ourselves, then we must understand that certain places are dirty. These so-called “places” may even have the smell of a dead goat’s bunghole. Although, with this in mind, it probably means that we’ll have hell of an adventure that keeps us in for the long haul.

The 10 Amazing Places to Clean Yourself

3. The Cavern (Vagina)

Without cleanliness, our bodies can feel left behind, meaning that we will not feel good, special, or seemingly motivated. However, at the same time, the lack of bathing can mean that we are depressed; the bacteria (and fungus) can begin to grow in unsurprising areas. Although, if we do this, then we’re essentially swallowing the burdens of undue harm and torture against our personal well water. Hell, we even know that the poetry behind it all can lead us to deafen ourselves to music for a life time., but there are plenty of ways to put, and there are even a plethora of places to stick it. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with sunbathing under a swell and entitled stream from the mountain hole or cavern.

The 10 Amazing Places to Clean Yourself

4. The Cornfield (Penis)

We all understand that wet dogs never like to bathe, and our fellow man will understand this surely. In fact, we are all cave men, and we all need our vitamins and minerals. However, in spite of these spuriously recited and clever ramblings, I can attest to the self-described point being made. In fact, we all have special cornholes, and we’ve all seen our fair share of scary jungles and spicy bushes. Tis the reason for our love affair with hotdogs! Furthermore, the more that we enjoy the endless cornfields, the more that we can assure ourselves that everything will be okay. “Why?” you ask. Well, it all boils down to knobbing at the wheel. You see, not only is it healthy for the skin, but it is also good for … .

The 10 Amazing Places to Clean Yourself

5. The Jam House (Feet)

We all need to get it all out of our systems from time to time, and what a better time to do that than music. Of course, this comes down to our abilities to rock ‘n’ roll, and the bathtub at the jam house are the best places to do it. It doesn’t matter if it’s pleasant; however, it does certainly matter if it smells funny and leaves bacteria between your nails. Although, for more context, we have to consider how other places can be that “jam house,” and we also have to think about the ways that we can fix it. When this becomes a problem though, we can probably think of a way to get out of this jam … house. Although, unfortunately, when push comes to shove, there is no way to jam the problem away with jelly.

The 10 Amazing Places to Clean Yourself

6. The Pits (The Washer & Dryer [Arm Pits])

Obviously, we cannot forget about one of the most obnoxious places in the world … the pits. Yeah, but what are these pits? Well, they can be everywhere, and they’re certainly a place that you can clean on your body. They smell up the entire region, and they can also be a place to clean yourself. It doesn’t matter if you go up the pit or straight down into it, as long as you can cleanse the evil spirits — the stickiest and most ubiquitous of ghastly, stinky smells — leaving their stenchy mark just about everywhere. Even then, when you are in the pits, there may be a mist; this mistiness can help a lot with blending in. Of course, at the same time, there’s only so much that a musty and humid pit can do to escape it’s daily fate.

The 10 Amazing Places to Clean Yourself

7. The Exit *Only* (Rectum)

You know the place that I’m talking about, and again, this can be just about anywhere. And generally speaking, this location leaves you with plenty to clean and spares you the smell of the indoors. In fact, just about every exit is clean or at least should be … hopefully. Once you walk outdoors though, you will feel that fresh wind, but oftentimes, that wind comes from the inside. Obviously, a finger or two will do, but make sure that the doodoo doesn’t make an appearance. For example, you will need to wipe it after visiting the stalls; however, butts may make an appearance, and this is no good for you. Then again, you may have to use a “good day” to release the water, the submarine, or both. Although, this is good!

The 10 Amazing Places to Clean Yourself

8. The Food Court (Mouth & Teeth – Brushing)

There are good places to clean, including a restaurant, buffet, or the food court in a mall or shopping plaza, etcetera. However, this is generally an exit plan, and in this case, it may just be an emergency, an emergency that will ruin the rest of your godforsaken life, right? Of course, you do not want bacteria or strange little fungal infections growing in this specific place, but this location is also and often a good spot to be or become an oral exhibitionist. Why? Well, because there’s no better a place to eat food, but you also have to consider certain ways of brushing it all away. Although, in light of this, you don’t want people invading your own personal food court or you will see yourself getting a “mouthful.”

The 10 Amazing Places to Clean Yourself

9. The Gold Mine (Nose – Picking)

Well, as we know, there are multiple caves in, on, and around your body. These places are sacred, and they need not be a place of refuge for other passersby, including your inlet. Of course, everything deepens, and there are places where picking for gold is not always recommended. Although, at the same time, this is obviously a form of cleaning, at least to a degree. However, it unfortunately leaves a lot to be desired. Fortunately, to make this even more understandable, you need to make sure to trim those whiskers. Not everything needs to be cleaned, at least in a certain way, and not all gold is worthy of being traded in for cash. Regardless, the gold mine (or personal inlet) is a great location for a cleansing.

The 10 Amazing Places to Clean Yourself

10. The Forest (The Scalp – Hair)

One of the finest places to get a long-deserved rinsing is the forest, be it the rainforest or jungle. Although, since we’ve already mentioned the jungle, we might as well mention something else. You see, not only is it a fantastic location to learn your cleansing ways, but the bugs often hide here. The rain can also fall from the trees, and this means that you can rid yourself of the bugs. If we’re being honest, then we can even look at the fact that it’s going to rain all of the time. There is no need for a bathroom, and dysentery is around every corner. Of course, we can also mention that we’re talking about the scalp as well. There’s no need to worry though, as you will find a place to clean yourself of the termites.

The 10 Amazing Places to Clean Yourself

Ending

We obviously didn’t mention the desert, city, or mountain ranges, but these are fantastic places to bathe as well. Although, in the end, your hair will be clean, and the love that you feel after a long shower will breed new life into your motivation. Furthermore, it doesn’t matter if it’s a shower or well-deserved bath, because just about anything will do, even if you don’t become clean. However, if we’re being honest, we all need a towel from time to time, and using other methods of cleaning are always overdue. Afterall, these are the 10 AMAZING places to wash (on) yourself! There’s no shame, and you may even learn a thing or two about bananas. Well, isn’t that just swell, at least after the water burns you alive.

Hey, you don’t always have to use droplets or water to clean yourself. Then again, we are talking about washing yourself, and this typically involves a liquid that at least closely resembles water.

The 10 Amazing Places to Clean Yourself

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Godspeed

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