10 Ways to Win an Argument
A lot of people seem to think that an argument means that someone won and the other person lost. The metrics used usually involve clever zingers and who yelled the least as indication of who won. A major problem exists where it seems that people will try to win instead of resolve conflict between each other. An argument is often a situation where people are caught off guard and in the moment with their emotions. If you are just trying to have a standoff with someone to see who can bring up the most dirt though, there are better strategies. Some of them work in tandem, while others may work well more on their own. Just remember that it’s not always about winning, as being bright does not always mean bringing the best one-liners. These are the 10 great ways to win an argument.
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The point to take from this is how to properly diffuse an argument and come off as the better person. It’s not here to help you win ego points, but any boost to your self-esteem is a bonus. What makes a person win an argument can involve a lot of variables; however, if a person won, you can usually spot it. Not everyone knows about how to properly argue, but even if they do, jabs are often hard to execute. The first thing you should do is to not look at an argument as a thing to win. If you do this, you will win fair and square while using less of those slimy tactics others use. It also require some patience or a slapstick performance, where denial and personal preference come into play.
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A lot of these pointers come into conflict with each other, but they make sense if your practice. This advice can even be used against someone who does not deserve it, but this is not the point. The point being that if you understand how to go about it, you can succeed. In the end, we can all at least learn to argue competently with kindness and class. Not everyone is trying to win an argument, but everyone is still probably trying to make their point. This is a very important thing to understand when going into a conversation with someone else. The last thing you need is longstanding conflict, anxiety, depression, and regret because of one. This requires choosing your arguments wisely without needing to win every single conversation.
10 Ways to Win an Argument
1. Do Not Take the Bait
When in the middle of an argument, a person may feel a need to bring up something personal. The person may be trying to simply get a rise out of you to gain a sense of superiority. If someone has had a history of abusing others, they may feel that this is normal and works to their advantage. The best thing you or anyone else can do in this situation is to avoid doing the same thing. In the moment, it may be hard, but it is essentially stooping to their level if you give in. This is one of the last thing you want to do mid-conversation.
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While it may seem like the great way to shut them up and win on their terms, it’s not. In the end, you will both lose and feel the worse for it. This can end up bringing up more issues further down the road. If you happen to do it, be sure to apologize afterwards; make it clear that you did not mean to bring up their dirty laundry. The person may feel justified in their anger, so if winning means doing what they do, you may fail. The person you are arguing with may not get as upset, as they may have more practice and patience. If you want to avoid sounding like the worse person, avoid their baiting; you should be sure to not fall for traps like this.
2. Avoid Yelling
Falling in line with the last item on this list — you must avoid raising your voice too much when arguing. This gives the other person leverage and a chance to call you out for being abusive. Even if you are the one making the cogent point and who did not start it, you can still take the blame. The more you yell and feel the other person not listening to you, the more it can enrage and rationalize your fears. The best thing you can do is try to keep calm and avoid screaming and yelling as much as possible. The more you do this, to blame or not, the more you have control over what happens next. This also gives you a chance to avoid head to head insults by giving you time to think.
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If you are constantly yelling, you will probably attract negative attention and possibly begin to threat. Since yelling is a sign of anger, you can end up doing something you do not want. The argument becomes a high stakes affair, which is something you want to avoid outright. If the person you are arguing against is ready to fight, this can be a problem as well. This is where finger pointing and even false accusations can cause a eruption of unexpected negativity.
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A brawl at the end of an argument can lead to all sorts of problems. It usually settles the deal once and for all, but it may not be good for you (or the other person). This is almost giving them leverage, especially if you or them starts a physical altercation. This can land you in jail or bloody and beaten, and this is not what you want. This is where the other guy or gal feels like the better person than you. Even if they help you and feel guilt, it did not need to reach this point. Conflict and outright belligerence are often warranted, but not in this situation.
10 Ways to Win an Argument
3. Avoid Making Threats
Making threats when in an argument is the last thing you should do, especially if you are not responsible for the altercation. The other person may be trying to get a rise out of you, and it’s often a tactic that works. Do not expect much from who you are arguing with, because an argument is all-out war. If you are already upset, just be aware that them making seedy comments will not help. This does not mean giving someone the cold shoulder or silent treatment helps either. Even if you need some space during or after an argument, giving the other person leeway is a great way to make amends.
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This kind of reaction can also lead the other person claiming victimhood or even calling the police on you. If this is not a showstopper, then what is? It does not mean that they won an argument or feel better, but it will end poorly for you. Even if you do not mean what you said, the other person may just be looking to stoop even lower. If this, along with avoiding physical or criminal punishment is your thing, then give your conscience a chance. Winning an argument can be important sometimes, so it’s understandable to make a few mistakes from time to time. Some mistakes are just not worth making if it means your life though.
4. Create a Diversion
If you are looking to be obtuse or obscure, then creating a diversion is always a great way to avoid losing an argument. Scapegoats are often a way for an abuser to avoid taking blame by putting something off on you. It’s not always the case if the person being blamed is not at fault and chooses to bring up the real problem. You can try to confuse the other person, in a good or bad way, with sesquipedalian word usage. You can even try to elicit an admission from them pertaining to their confusion, but verbose language does not always work. If you want to keep someone at bay or win all of the way, then be sure to give them bait, too.
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It’s not to say that foresight and intelligence do not play a role, but they are not always important. An absolute idiot can win an argument with you, and it comes down to what people want to hear and say. If someone is confident is just slamming others down, they are practiced and can come off as the smarter more competent person. This does not mean they won, but to them they may have and will have anyway. If this is what you want, then try to learn stupid cockiness from who does it best. This means you can learn how to confuse them using their own bull crap. They may call you out, but you can just tell them that you learned from the best.
10 Ways to Win an Argument
5. Try to Stay on Subject
Something else you can do along with creating diversions is by staying on subject. This may make you come off as a trickster, but it can be done on it’s own as well. The more you keep the person on subject — depending on the circumstance — and in line, the more you can keep them . If they are obviously going off subject, you and them will become more aware. This can make them ease up or take a break from their tactics of deception by whipping the grease off their knee. This gives you an opportunity to shut them down by shutting the conversation down. Again, in the middle of an argument, it is always easier said than done.
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The job here is easy though, so just be sure to keep them from putting their hands in their pockets. If you are on top of them, be sure to keep it that way, as this will stop further altercations in the future. Winning comes down to you feeling like you did your job, even if they threw more insults and left curves at you. If the oppositional party is having a ball at your expense, try to think of it as them having to feel better about themselves. Try to avoid backing down, and call them out for how they argue and their hypocrisy.
6. Try to Calm the Other Person Down
Trying to calm somebody down can be a useful and well-meaning gesture; however, it can also come off as condescending and rude. Even if you are trying to have good intentions, a person can perceive kindness as a way of you getting the best of them. This negative sentiment is on them, as it does little good in trying to overexplain positive reinforcement. While the other person is trying to out-logic you with facts and linguistics, you can be the better person. It’s never bad trying to be the better person, because you are the only one doing it.
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Telling a person that the argument is a waste of time, especially if they are roused up, can land you a win. It may not always be taken lightly, but if you are looking to supersede their crap, it can work. This, along with learning how to shut up and concede when appropriate, can help anyone. Just be sure to let them know that it is all going to be alright. This will be a dagger they did not even know you stuck in their back. The fun thing about it is that a lot of the time, it will diffuse the argument and make you feel in charge. The only way to ruin it is by laughing at the person, which is not a good idea. Even if you feel like the victor, you really are not. It just makes you seem like a person who should be avoided.
10 Ways to Win an Argument
7. Be on the Attack
Since it’s always better to beat someone with kindness rather than being the better arguer, attack with grace. Mocking the other person, while a tactic that can frustrate someone else, is childish and provoking. If you invite a friend to have this argument for you, it can help you, but it depends. If someone does not want to be dragged into a conversation, you may be in for a rude awakening. This is where you should take the higher road and avoid involving others, especially if they do not expect it.
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Being on the attack towards someone else also gives them very little chance to recover or think. If you are on the attack and learned yourself a little knowledge ahead of time, it can do wonders. The last thing you want is little time to figure an offensive or defensive strategy. Both are important when trying to traverse an argument and work like a charm. If a person has a tendency to overthink and explain things too much, you can use this to your advantage. You will have little work to do in hearing their excuses or justifications at the expense of being a dick.
8. Do Not Overexplain
When someone is overexplaining something, the other person will see this as a sign of defensiveness and culpability. Depending on what the argument is about, a person making an accusation can get away with a lot. If all they are trying to do is make you seem guilty of some kind of trespass, they can easily succeed. Try to keep the argument on simpler terms, as overthinking during an argument can open you up to vulnerability. The thing with arguments is trying to set a balance, as it makes the whole ordeal more fair. If you can hold back, be sure to do this, as you never know a person and their spitefulness.
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It’s not to say that detail is not often important or necessary, but going out of your way does little good. This is especially true when you are put on the defensive, either right or wrong, as it will help the other feel victorious. When this happens, the other person can try to call you out for talking in circles or preemptively shut down the conversation. As mentioned, shutting down the conversation is great, but it can also make you seem like an asshole. The last thing you need is someone seeing you as a snarky jerk. Some people have to win arguments, as it means their life is over if they do not reign supreme.
10 Ways to Win an Argument
9. Set Up Expectations
If you want to make sure someone will appeal to your side of an argument, you should create expectations. This will put a person on the defensive, especially if they know they are wrong about something. Starting an argument is reason enough to put someone on the line, but this practice can be abused as well. Whatever the argument, letting the other person know that you disappointed them can make a huge difference. It can make the person more upset, or it can make the person more willing to listen. If you want to put the other person on guard, this will work. It’s a great way to make sure they know that they screwed up.
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If zingers is what you want, at least to them, this is the kind of thing that may make them sting. The last thing that someone wants to hear is that they failed someone else. If you keep at it, it may make them fall apart really fast. This does not mean hit them out of the ball park with it, as the point is not to make them upset. You just want to make sure they know that screwing with you is the last thing they should do. If it works, it may make them think about disappointing you again.
10. Do Not Interrupt
If you want the other person to respect you and take your seriously, not interrupting them is a good way to start. When you interrupt someone, it makes the other person feel unheard and misunderstood. It can be good at shutting them up and making them forget what to say, but it can lead to yelling. To some, this may be good, but if you had an audience during this argument, it will be seen as subversion. Putting a person in this position can create desperation, and this can be good and bad.
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Some people like to enter arguments or lay witness to them just to make it worse for someone they hate. Even if that person is right, someone or people in the background are not always indication of who is right or wrong. Giving the other person a chance can reveal the stupidity of what they have to say. If they cannot fill in this gap, it can display their inability to make a coherent point, making them feel lost. It’s up to you if you want to take the high road, but you are a better person for it.
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An argument can be hard to figure out, and they can last a long time as well. While some of the advice given here may seem like a joke, it’s here to help give you a different perspective. It may seem like it’s contradictory or hard to figure out, but it really is not. Take what you can take from it, and then try your best to accommodate and apply it well. Much of it may seem obvious, and you are probably already doing most of it, but some extra input helps. If anything, it’s all about ending a conversation without feeling like you lost too much in the process. It depends on what you are trying to accomplish and how, so try to give figuring this out a shot, too.
10 Ways to Win an Argument
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